Showing posts with label laughter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laughter. Show all posts

Monday, March 08, 2010

A Bit of Irish Humor!!!


Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

The man said, 'I do, Father.'

The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'

Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.

'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'

The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'

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Thanks be to God!

Friday, May 08, 2009

Bad Haiku Friday

art work by
Mary Engelbreit




Laughing out loud is
More fun when you have someone
Someone to laugh with


~~~^j^~~~

Thanks be to God!


Felt I had to be poetic! Ever felt that way? Not much skill here yet...I'll keep trying.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

April Fools Day Humor

Art by Mary Engelbreit


With all the jokes and pranks yet to be pulled today, I thought I would offer this one. Sent me by a friend, I hope you will enjoy it and chuckle a bit.


FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.'

Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."

So it is that we are grateful for a sense of humor. Laughter is healing and beneficial, so today do not loose that sense of humor and be sure and laugh at yourself. Don't take yourself too seriously. Frown lines will develop if you do!

~~~*~~~

THANKS BE TO GOD!!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Have a Weekend Full of PUN...

Mary Engelbreit

Mother sent me these laugh-out-loud puns. Please "make a joyful noise" as you read them and have a wonderful weekend!


1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. Now matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects!

~~^j^~~
Thanks be to God!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Just a brief post...

We had a storm Sunday, three days ago with high winds. Knocked out the electricity in the city of Evansville and Newburgh. Today there are some who still have no electricity. The Kellers being among those. Will post more when MY computer is up an running again. All have a good day!

~~~~~~~
And thanks be to God!!!

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Unspectacular Quirk MEME



My daughter-in-law, Kelly, tagged me. And it's only fair that I respond because I have tagged her so many times...

So, here goes...

1. I always have cold hands...Mother said the only reason I got into nursing school was because I passed "the cold hands test."

2. I was reminded this last week just how much I dislike hominy. It was served with every Mexican food dish I ordered this weekend. (Ron was in "hog heaven" because he got to eat all of mine!)

3. I hate to iron...Thank goodness for Downy Wrinkle Release Spray.

4. I love to travel but darned if I know why I clean the house before I leave. I'm not going to enjoy this while I'm gone.

5. I realllllly hate good-byes!

6. I become distraught when newscasters and reporters cannot use proper grammar. I throw my hands up in despair and frustration. Does that bother anyone else?
~~~~~~~
So, there they are, and now I will charge 6 others to do the same, including, but not limited to , No Body Said Life Was Fair..., Crocus in the Valley, A Truckers Wife, Aussie Coffee Shop, Made for Joy, and A World of Beauty.

It's so good to be back. When I get the pictures all sorted and ready to show from the wonderful travels I have enjoyed, you'll be the first to share them!

~~~^*^*^~~~
Thanks be to God!

Feel free to check my grammar...I usually need help, too.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Funny Squirrels

Because of the diligence of Lisa at Are We There Yet I found out that when I first posted this it was routed through G-mail. I have found it and am trying again.

It is so funny, yet awesome, that this animal could learn these feats.

~~~^j^~~~

So I ask you all to enjoy

and

Thanks be to God for humor!!!

Monday, July 07, 2008

How do you decide who to marry...

I hope you will laugh as heartily as I did after I received this as an email...Whew!!! Kleenex anyone?


HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)


-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.

-- Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

-- Lynnette, age 8
(isn't she a treasure)

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.

- - Curt, age 7
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is ..........
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck .
-- Ricky, age 10
~~~~~~~^j^~~~~~~~

For children and their veritable
wealth of knowledge I say,

"Thanks be to God!"
And to my friend, Karen!